Happy New Year

Happy New Year! 

I wanted to stop in and say I hope everyone is having a wonderful new year. I literally just realized after the clock turned to the new year that we were starting a new decade. Silly me. I obviously don't keep up with enough social media, but at the same time I don't want to be so consumed into it that I forget about my own life and responsibilities. I never make new years resolutions because I never follow through. I just tell myself that I have goals rather than resolutions. I want to get things done that I did not get to last year or that I was working towards. One of my big goals that is hopefully I finally get my own car🤞. I know, I'm sure everyone is wondering how can a twenty seven year old be without a car. I mean this would be normal for someone living in New York right? You can walk wherever you need to go and you don't need to rely on a car. I feel like this is the same in some areas of California and other states as well. Anyways, growing up I lived in a very toxic environment and although there were times that were good, laughs, some traditions, etc. There was also a ton of toxicity and negativity. I did not receive my permit until I was twenty years old and that is when I paid for the driving school/lessons ALL on my own. My siblings got their driving school paid for but I had to do it all on my own which is totally fine. That just shows me that I am capable of doing for myself and I don't need anyone else. I don't want anyone to think that I'm bashing here because I'm not. This is real life stuff from my perspective and some people might try to say otherwise. I was held back a lot and believed that I needed this one person in order to function in life. When I got older I realized that isn't true those are the other person's fears and they are not mine. I'm not afraid I want to meet new people, try new things, and experience different things. I'm not afraid of it so why are they? Alright don't want to make this sound so depressing when it is not. It's might fault as well because I did not find an alternative method in order to practice driving when I could not or was told I couldn't. I mean what could I have done I was twenty years old. I know for sure I did not have the mindset that I do now. However, these last few years are definitely my blame. I blame the anxiety. I got into wrecks and small fender benders and even though I was in the passenger side, the anxiety is always there. It's even worse when I'm in the driver side. I've been working with a therapist these last few months on myself and relationship wise which has helped me understand myself a whole lot better, but one thing that is going to help me is my driving anxiety. So that is why this goal is such a big step for me because I'm the one that is saying I'm done I can't be stuck anymore I need to move I need opportunities and this will give me the possibilities. 

I'm ready for this year!

What are your goals for 2020?

💗